Actual writings on hospital charts by Doctors:


 

She has no rigors or shaking chills , but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.


Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.


On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.


The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.


The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.


Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.


Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.


The patient refused autopsy.


The patient has no previous history of suicides.


Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.


Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight
gain in the past three days.


Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.


She is numb from her toes down.


While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.


The skin was moist and dry.


Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.


Patient was alert and unresponsive.


Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.


She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.


I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.


Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.


Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.


The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.


The patient was to have a bowel resection.
However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.


Skin: somewhat pale but present.


The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.


Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank,
who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.


Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.


Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

 

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was
feeling better.

 

I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when
he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.

 

The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to
dispose of him.

 

She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions
in early December.

 

The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a
picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually
deteriorated in the emergency room.

 

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.



The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran
out of gas and crashed.



Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to
work her up.

 

Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.


When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.



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